In a moment of weakness...
I made a bad decision.
I’ve been sittin’ here, trying to find a funny cute way to say it, but f$%! it!
I texturized my hair the other day.
I texturized my hair the other day.
I know, you’re probably thinking “so what”, right? But if you know me, you might know that I’ve had natural hair since I was about seventeen years old. I live and breath natural hair. Really, it’s a part of who I am.
I didn’t grow up doing my hair. Until I was twelve, except for the occasional summertime cornrow reprieve, I wore my hair in two long braids that went straight back. And they weren’t French braids, no no, cause my mom never learned how to do that. Really it was three braids in each one, connected together. And on special days, we put in those puffy cotton ribbons, in whatever color matched our outfits. Not exactly the height of fashion, but that’s all I knew, and I was content.
From there everything went downhill. I moved in with my black uncle and white aunt, who had no idea who what do with my nappy ass hair. The logical solution? A trip to the hair salon, and my first perm. I shook it, I brushed it, I loved it. For about a month. Then I had to take care of it, and that’s where it all started to fall apart. Over the next few years, my hair continually got shorter and thinner. I got more and more lectures about doing my hair. So on that fateful day in my senior year, I took the plunge, cut off the perm, and broke free.
And that’s the way it’s been. Over the years, I've had a lot of different hairstyles, and I know they haven’t all been cute. I’ve grown it out and cut it off several times, but I’ve never broken out the chemical kit since.
The problem is, the other day, my resistance was down. Not an excuse, but it is the truth. I had a stomachache. And when I looked in the mirror that morning, I was definitely thinking about a change. Lastly, before my appointment, I hit a man on a bike. It was pretty safe to assume I wasn't think clearly. So when the barber pushed and pushed, I gave in. I knew it was wrong from the beginning. I was mad when he while he put in, I was pissed when it started to burn, and when I looked in the mirror and saw the lack of nap, I wanted to cry.
So now I'm stuck with it, a headful of almost curly hair, and two chemical burns. The only thing that made the trip better the 15 minute conversation w/ Will, the beautiful man who took care of my shampoo and rinse. (I now officially think the hair stylist/construction co. owner is the perfect combination in a man. Who else can tell you "I got this" in a nice masculine voice, and gently cradle your head in his big strong arms?)
The worst part about the whole thing is that everyone seems to like it more. I've had so many people tell me that my hair looks so much nicer, and really the only difference is that it's a little longer, a little less nappy. I hate the rule that says that a woman with short, natural hair is somehow less attractive than one that has a processed style. I don't believe it, I won't support it. I'm not weak anymore.
One more month, and I'm back to the real me. The natural me.
I’ve been sittin’ here, trying to find a funny cute way to say it, but f$%! it!
I texturized my hair the other day.
I texturized my hair the other day.
I know, you’re probably thinking “so what”, right? But if you know me, you might know that I’ve had natural hair since I was about seventeen years old. I live and breath natural hair. Really, it’s a part of who I am.
I didn’t grow up doing my hair. Until I was twelve, except for the occasional summertime cornrow reprieve, I wore my hair in two long braids that went straight back. And they weren’t French braids, no no, cause my mom never learned how to do that. Really it was three braids in each one, connected together. And on special days, we put in those puffy cotton ribbons, in whatever color matched our outfits. Not exactly the height of fashion, but that’s all I knew, and I was content.
From there everything went downhill. I moved in with my black uncle and white aunt, who had no idea who what do with my nappy ass hair. The logical solution? A trip to the hair salon, and my first perm. I shook it, I brushed it, I loved it. For about a month. Then I had to take care of it, and that’s where it all started to fall apart. Over the next few years, my hair continually got shorter and thinner. I got more and more lectures about doing my hair. So on that fateful day in my senior year, I took the plunge, cut off the perm, and broke free.
And that’s the way it’s been. Over the years, I've had a lot of different hairstyles, and I know they haven’t all been cute. I’ve grown it out and cut it off several times, but I’ve never broken out the chemical kit since.
The problem is, the other day, my resistance was down. Not an excuse, but it is the truth. I had a stomachache. And when I looked in the mirror that morning, I was definitely thinking about a change. Lastly, before my appointment, I hit a man on a bike. It was pretty safe to assume I wasn't think clearly. So when the barber pushed and pushed, I gave in. I knew it was wrong from the beginning. I was mad when he while he put in, I was pissed when it started to burn, and when I looked in the mirror and saw the lack of nap, I wanted to cry.
So now I'm stuck with it, a headful of almost curly hair, and two chemical burns. The only thing that made the trip better the 15 minute conversation w/ Will, the beautiful man who took care of my shampoo and rinse. (I now officially think the hair stylist/construction co. owner is the perfect combination in a man. Who else can tell you "I got this" in a nice masculine voice, and gently cradle your head in his big strong arms?)
The worst part about the whole thing is that everyone seems to like it more. I've had so many people tell me that my hair looks so much nicer, and really the only difference is that it's a little longer, a little less nappy. I hate the rule that says that a woman with short, natural hair is somehow less attractive than one that has a processed style. I don't believe it, I won't support it. I'm not weak anymore.
One more month, and I'm back to the real me. The natural me.
posted by jonetsu at
4:52 PM
7 Comments:
Don't feel bad. When you're natural like we are, we can try anything.
The best thing about being natural is having NO FEAR of trying something new. I can dye my hair and if I dont like it, shave it off. I can grow it, perm it and then cut it off. I'm not a slave to any one hairstyle.
I look great any way I comb it. And you do too!
By
editor, at 28/1/05 6:07 PM
You really should go to a stylist that supports your choice to be natural. Don't settle for someone who is going to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. YOU'RE the paying customer! Of course, it's not the end of the world. Your roots will grow out in no time, but I would suggest that you find another stylist.
By
Erika, at 29/1/05 2:05 PM
Hey girlie, its alright. I have had the same thot myself sometimes.... the only thing saving me being that I am broke and therefore cannot do it. That and the fact that I have a lovely sister who is willing to braid my hair whenever i need it done (to nidodo, if you ever read this, you are more appreciated than you know.... sniff sniff). But I feel u. Dont be dismayed. The beauty of our natural tresses is that sometimes it may be down for the count, but rest assured, it is never out.
By
Sankofa, at 30/1/05 2:06 PM
I'm a white girl but I feel you. My husband likes my hair long, so I'll spend two years growing it out. It's long and thick and fairly beautiful, but its a pain in the a*s and gives me headaches. So I'll go to my stylist, who convinces me to cut it into a short fad haircut, and I do, and then I hate it, and then I grow it for two years to get it back past my shoulders. Some days I'd rather just be bald. Hence the nasty viscious cycle. Hang in there. It'll come back to normal.
By
Christa, at 6/2/05 11:02 AM
what! i can't believe it. you must've been seriously coerced. but you're right, you can go back to being naturally you in another month if you still don't like it. and yes, it is annoying that other people always think your hair looks better if it's straighter, curlier, blonder (lol). so after college, i decided to get rid of the perm and i'm happy to say that i'm all natural now too! :)
By
Sivad, at 6/2/05 3:13 PM
It's Liz from http://lizditz.typepad.com, I Speak of Dreams. I found you from "A Mom on A Mission".
I too have had natural hair for all my life, but see, it is white people's hair: fine, straight & limp. I see black women my age with braids or short plushy afros (or even bald, like Juliette at http://baldilocks.com) and think, DAMN! That looks elegant. I just look...
What is it with women and hair? Why do we long for what we do not have? My darling daughter with beautiful tawny dark blond wavy hair just flattened it (with an iron thank goodness) and had it colored dark mocha with red highlghts. (it does look fabulous, but...)
So your hair will return to normal in a month...
By
Anonymous, at 7/2/05 9:08 PM
I tried to texturize my hair last year in August and it got too straight as if it was relaxed so I had to cut if off. See my hair is so tightly curled that I have to press it with a hot comb to get it into an afro - can you imagine that - so imagine the shock of the texturizer making it too straight. I immediately put some braids in and as my hair grew I would cut off the straight parts. Now all the straight parts are off, but now I am faced with the fact that it's so kinky that even to get that afro lock I have to press it or have it professionally blown out - if I try to blow it out myself it's still to curly to get into that puffy afro - imagine that!!!
By
mieoux, at 22/5/05 7:20 PM
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