Are you crazy???
As I get older, I realize more and more that I have a lot of irrational thoughts/behaviors. I know they're not normal, I know that I shouldn't think they way that I do, but there I am, in some situation, doing or saying the craziest things.
Of course, not all examples are that serious, like the way that I have to separate the crust from the toppings on my pizza and smash my ice cream into my cake, or I how I still feel a surge of anger ever time I see Lawrence Fishbourne for the way he beat Tina's ass. People look at me crazy, but I keep on doin what I do.
Other things are more crucial. I went to the movies to watch Ray, feeling pretty guilty for taking to so long to support a movie that I heard was worthy. Not too far in, they start shooting up heroine. For reasons too long to get into, I am extremely sensitive about anything that shows drug use. So I see the needle, I freak out, and I curl up in a ball in the movie theater, kinda rocking back and forth with my eyes closed until the scene is over. I knew that I was acting silly, but I couldn't help it. And because I knew that I shouldn't act that way, I refused to leave, allowing myself to be tortured over and over again. This wasn't the first time it's happened. As time goes on, my crazy tendencies gets worse and worse, and I get more stuck in my ways.
My question is, is there really a way to overcome these, beyond hypnotism, or some other form of psychotherapy? I would like to think of it as mind over matter but, at least for me, my mind loses the battle the majority of the time. And I know that I'm not the only one who does crazy things. Maybe, really, we just have accept our odd little characteristics, see them as part of what makes us who we are... I don't know, maybe I'll break open a Reese's, slowly eat the outside, then savor that creamy middle, and ponder it for a while.
Of course, not all examples are that serious, like the way that I have to separate the crust from the toppings on my pizza and smash my ice cream into my cake, or I how I still feel a surge of anger ever time I see Lawrence Fishbourne for the way he beat Tina's ass. People look at me crazy, but I keep on doin what I do.
Other things are more crucial. I went to the movies to watch Ray, feeling pretty guilty for taking to so long to support a movie that I heard was worthy. Not too far in, they start shooting up heroine. For reasons too long to get into, I am extremely sensitive about anything that shows drug use. So I see the needle, I freak out, and I curl up in a ball in the movie theater, kinda rocking back and forth with my eyes closed until the scene is over. I knew that I was acting silly, but I couldn't help it. And because I knew that I shouldn't act that way, I refused to leave, allowing myself to be tortured over and over again. This wasn't the first time it's happened. As time goes on, my crazy tendencies gets worse and worse, and I get more stuck in my ways.
My question is, is there really a way to overcome these, beyond hypnotism, or some other form of psychotherapy? I would like to think of it as mind over matter but, at least for me, my mind loses the battle the majority of the time. And I know that I'm not the only one who does crazy things. Maybe, really, we just have accept our odd little characteristics, see them as part of what makes us who we are... I don't know, maybe I'll break open a Reese's, slowly eat the outside, then savor that creamy middle, and ponder it for a while.
posted by jonetsu at
2:22 PM
3 Comments:
I agree with lindsay-lee. Everyone has their own quirks. Everyone is crazy, weird, whatever. There's really no such thing as normal. If you prefer not to see a movie with drug abuse, that's your perogative. However, I really do think you need to get over the mold thing. ;o)
By
Erika, at 25/1/05 2:49 PM
Liz (http://lizditz.typepad.com) again.
I cannot look at realistic scenes of violence on TV or especially movies. I react just as if it is happening in real time in front of me. I close my eyes and do Lamaze breathing until the sound indicates it is over. (I am not so sensitive to sound...but if there's truly agonized screaming I also cover my ears and hum).
Laugh all you want.
By
Anonymous, at 7/2/05 9:12 PM
This is a tough topic.. under the ice cream and cake what you're asking about is how to cope/deal with things that have touched you in ways that most of the world doesn't understand. There is no hiding the past, not from yourself. They may not know about it but that's different... but right now you're talking about hiding/dealing with the way you feel about it.. and that they *can* see when they're around you.
Pain and trauma is not silly, or quirky.. it's real. Hershey's International, no matter how much they would like it, cannot help us forget the past or learn how to deal with it.
Keep on tackling the real problems with help.. and leave the quirks alone.. they didn't do anything more than help you to be you :)
By
Anonymous, at 14/2/05 10:01 AM
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